Monday Mantra:: I enjoy the space between

Enjoy the space between DanaAtkin.com

Where are you now? Where do you want to be? What’s stopping you from enjoying the space between the two places?

It’s easy to get lost in the striving, in the working, in the doing. When you have a goal or life situation in mind and you’re spending all your time focussing on it, it can easily become the be all and end all of your life. It can lead you into frustration because you want to be there. Now.  And each time you’re reminded that you aren’t there yet, you fall into the “I’m a failure” mind set a little further.

Someone asked me a question recently which became a catalyst for change. The questions was “What do you love to do?”. I said, run, paint, write and I had to stop the conversation there because it dawned on me that I had not done anything of what I love for quite some time now because I had been all consumed with another goal. And each time I was reminded that I hadn’t achieved that goal yet, I would let go of something I loved to put more focus on this thing that I was working towards which would actually make me feel worse, not better.

Here’s the lucky penny that dropped. If I stopped focussing on where I want to be and put a little more focus on what I love doing, more focus on right here and now, then when I’m confronted about my major goal, instead of feeling like a failure, I could lean on the things that bring me joy so as not to fall down the rabbit hole of self doubt.

I’ve chosen instead to enjoy the space between where I am and where I want to be.

 

Monday Mantra:: I let go of conditions

Monday Mantra I let go of conditions

Advertisements have them. Legal documentation has them. We have them too, whether we’re aware of it or not. It keeps us from enjoying life, from enjoying relationships, jobs, money, family, you name it. It keeps us miserable when we could be rejoicing and it haunts our psyche on a daily basis. I’m talking about the conditions, the expectations and the asterisk of our day to day lives.

Here’s how it works:

We want the career of a life time, that makes us fulfilled, that pays us well and that we love. *BUT we don’t want to move country to where that dream career is available.

We want that loving relationship, that meaningful connection with a person who makes us feel like a giddy teenager again. *BUT he/she has to be tall, slender and rich.

I love my man. *BUT I’d love him so much more if he did the dishes more often.

Really, we should be saying or focusing on the item, person or situation as it is and valuing it as it is. We should love it unconditionally.

Sure some conditions can be changed. Sure you can love it if it had more of something or less of something or if it was a different colour or in a different location but focussing on where it could be instead of where it is right now, lends it’s self to more internal stress and only further perpetuates the current situation. So if what you focus on further perpetuates the situation then perhaps we should be focussing on just how lovely it is right here, right now and further perpetuate the loveliness….

What conditions, caveats, asterisks could you let go of today that might allow you to enjoy your workplace? Your colleagues? Your transit? Your partner? Your family? just that little bit more?

As always, download and save to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, share it.

 

Monday Mantra:: I Take A Daily Dose of Love

Monday Mantra Daily Dose of Love

It’s so easy to dish out the negative self talk. It’s easy to have a go at ourselves for our short comings, our didn’t do’s, our “should have done”s. Yes, it is good to know where we might have improved. But it doesn’t do us good to beat ourselves up about it. If we do, we wear ourselves down. We get tired, we get emotional and we set that negative self talk into a self perpetuating cycle of self belief that we’re never good enough, or we never get it right or the classic “I always….” (insert your always, go to stance, reaction or way of being).

The fact is that to change this, we need to recognise that we’re sometimes going to get things wrong. We need to take from that any lessons we can in order to move forward and upward. And then we need to turn the perspective around and realise that more often than not, we did the best we could with the facts and details we had at the time. It’s about accepting where we were at, what we did or said and then choosing to learn from it. From there, it’s easier to begin to talk nice to yourself again.

Create yourself a gratitude jar or journal but make the topic specifically about you, yourself, your abilities, your qualities, what it is you bring into the world. That is, write something nice about yourself. You can even ask friends to contribute some nice thoughts about you too. This will be your “medicine” for self talk.

When you find yourself in a perpetual downward negative self talk cycle, prescribe yourself a daily dose of love.

Then, when you’re having a particularly down day, do a lucky dip into the jar or a random page open in a journal and see what all the lovely things are about you and allow that to begin to lift your mood and set you on the upward cycle again.

Remember, create your little jar of love notes to yourself, when you feel down, take a daily dose of love and allow it fuel your positive self talk.

As always, download and save to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, share it.

 

Monday Mantra:: I Choose to Begin

Monday Mantra I choose to Begin

So it’s the new year. It’s now 2016 and this year is going to be great. It won’t all be smooth sailing, no. It will include ups and downs and the seas may take you a little off course from time to time but that’s okay. That’s life. What matters most this year, this very day, is that you choose to begin. Choose to begin planning that big overseas trip, begin that new workout regime, being that new vision board, begin that new business venture. Begin.

It’s all well and good to set sail and aimlessly navigate your world but it has to be said that having an idea of what you’d like to see, of what you’d like to feel or experience this year will hold you in good stead and you’re more likely to see, feel and experience it. If you’ve got the biggest voyage planned for this year, then begin it now. In whatever way you can that makes it feel like this year it is totally possible. Because once you begin, you set wheels in motion and oars to the ocean and even if you don’t reach your intended destination, you’re set for a journey and you’ve already begun. If you’ve got the grand voyage in mind and you begin it now but change your mind or re-chart your course somewhere along the way, that’s good too. Begining now on your current dream means that even if that dream changes, you know you’re capable of beginning the new one too.

If you don’t begin on your voyage then you’ll certainly never arrive at your destination. So begin it and if the seas send you in another direction, then at least you’ve met your destination half way.

Now is the time. Begin now. In any seemingly small way you can, begin charting your course. A fabulous journey awaits you.

As always, download and save to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, share it.

Monday Mantra:: I Seek Counsel

Monday Mantra I seek counsel

 

Holding it all in may feel like you’re protecting those you love. You may feel like it’s silly to feel the way you feel or that somehow, they’ll judge you or perhaps they’ll react in a way that will make you feel worse, not better.

But holding on to thoughts and feelings means that eventually our tank gets full. It will either overflow, explode or even worse – implode.

Anxiety and Depression (especially depression) can be overwhelming. It can be feel like a bottomless pit and it can feel like a lonely experience. Yes, it’s also difficult to speak up about it too.

Here’s the thing. If you speak up, seek counsel on your thoughts, your fears and emotional space, then you have more opportunity to work your way out and back into the lighter side of life again. It won’t necessarily be easy but ultimately it’s worth it. Even the greatest warrior needs men at his side in order to do battle. So call on your people and ask them to stand with you, to walk by your side into the battle.

Thankfully, for me, I’ve only seen this from a step or two back from those effected by someone with depression. What I’ve noticed from my time as a Kinesiologist is that the thing that keeps us from a asking for help is the fear of “what will others think” or “I shouldn’t really feel this way” or “it’s selfish for me to feel this way when other people are struggling with real difficulties”. The difficulty you feel about your world is real to you. And that is real enough to seek counsel. You are entitled to feel the way you do and just because it may seem like other people have it harder than you, doesn’t mean you are any less worthy of support.

Seek counsel. Please.

Advice on how to have the conversation and who to seek counsel: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation

________

Note: This Monday Mantra is written specifically about Anxiety and Depression however, seeking counsel can be a big game changer regardless of your situation. Keep in mind too if you ever find yourself on the end of a conversation where someone you love is seeking your counsel, to remain in listening mode and offer your support where you can and know that how they are feeling is not a reflection on you personally but simply, how they feel.
_______

As always, download and save to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, share it.

Monday Mantra:: I Make New Moment Resolutions

Monday Mantra New Moment Resolutions

I heard this term in some Abraham Hicks audio recently and it has stuck with me since. At this time of year especially we begin looking into the year that is about to transition into the next and then we hastily begin making new year resolutions before the old year is out.

Besides the lack of real consideration behind them, there is something a little lacking in the “expected” response to the age old question “What’s Your New Year Resolution?”. There are the usual types like Travel destinations, lose weight and get fit as well as the visit more, travel more, do more, be more etc. There are a few things that suddenly have clicked for me at the mere mention of the New Moment Resolution.

  1. The definition of the word Resolution.
  2. The Lack of meaning in them and
  3. The insistence that we wait until the new year to begin


The Definition

Some people have missed the definition of a resolution. These are definitions as taken from thefreedictionary.com:

  1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination: faced the situation with resolution.
  2. firm decision to do something: made a resolution to get more exercise.
  3. course of action determined or decided on: His resolution is to get up early.
  4. The act of solving or explaining a problem or puzzle.

Often our “resolutions” are made in haste and only ever skim the surface of what we’re really striving for. “Lose weight” for example is too loose and open to interpretation and at the mercy of life happening around us.

What we could say is this: I’ll make small changes through out the year to improve my opinion of myself and my body image. It speaks more to the humanity in us. The fact is that often when we make a new year resolution, we don’t sit down and work out how we’re going to make it happen, we don’t project plan it working out all the possible things that could go wrong and working out how we can mitigate that risk. The fact is that we start off well meaning and when life or work get busy or complicated, it often falls out the window and we fall off the wagon so to speak. Making small changes means we get to appreciate small wins. Which builds our confidence. And this builds momentum. It also allows us to focus on our own sense of self, not someone else’s idea of what we should or should not be doing for ourselves.

Remember that a Resolution needs to be a decision for a course of action that fills you with determination and solves a particular “problem”.

Meaning
What does it mean to you if you say your resolution is to travel around the country more? If you were doing this already, how would it make you feel? What would it bring to your life and your experience?

If you’re revolution is to lose weight, then when you arrive at your goal weight or at your fitness goal, how will you feel? How will you feel about yourself? What qualities will it install in you? what do you gain emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically from achieving it?

Make your resolution meaningful for you. Include those meaningful feelings in your resolution.

Waiting for the New Year
Why wait? Why not begin now? Right now? If it’s important to you, it shouldn’t be something that waits for the new year. Why not work out what your resolution is, define it, give it meaning for you and then begin strategising? There is no time like the present and if it’s that important to us, then we owe it to ourselves to begin. Not next year, not next week and certainly not tomorrow. Begin it now.

Aks yourself: What will it take to achieve my resolution? Who do I need on my side for this? What do I need? How much time will it take given my current circumstances (time, family, work etc). How much do I want it? On a scale of 0 – 10 (o being not important at all to 10 being my number one priority for me this year) what importance is it to you? Do need any other help for this (Personal Trainer, Business Coach, Nutritionist or perhaps a Travel Agent)?

Write it down. Get a nice piece of paper and a marker or pen and write your resolution out like an affirmation. If you physically write it out, it seeps into your subconscious more easily. Write it and write it often.

Make a new moments resolution and get planning right now so that even if you don’t officially begin until the new year, you’ll be all set up and ready to hit the ground running from week one.

 As always, download and save to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, share it.

Monday Mantra:: I focus on what I want

Monday Mantra What I Want

This can be a bit of tricky one. It’s a fine balance between focusing on what isn’t there and focussing on what you want to be there.

I hear it all the time. Here are some examples:

  1. I want a relationship and I’ve been focussing on a relationship (so why I am I still single?)
  2. I want a new, fun job and I’ve been focussing on that but nothing has come yet (and until then I’m stuck in a job I don’t love)
  3. I want to lose 5kg and I’ve been focussing on the dress I want to fit into (and every time I get on those scales, and nothing has changed).

The trick is to find what you want in the future in your current situation. For example:

Invest in a relationship with yourself. Take yourself out on a date. Go out to dinner, take yourself to the movies. But go on your own because you’re developing a relationship with yourself. You could take a journal with you and ask yourself some good “get to know you” questions and write your responses. Get to know YOU.

When you go to work each day, focus on what you actually like about the job, the people, the business. Focus on what that part feels like and let that be your anchor towards what you want.

When you get on the scales after a week of exercise and good food, say to yourself, “This is feedback on how my body feels right now, in this moment of time and I can help it to feel even better”. The idea is that instead of reinforcing the thought and feeling of “Urgh, I haven’t lost any weight”, you’re reinforcing that the body will feel better and that this is only a snapshot of what it feels like now. Then when you notice a reduction in weight, say to yourself on the scales, “Great, the body is feeling better and I can help it to feel even better again.”

If your example is not above, on apiece of paper, write out what you want on the left hand side and then on the right hand side, write the rest of the sentence but….

Eg. I want more money but I keep getting more bills.

Then, work out what the positive outlook is on the “But” section and then, work out how you can make yourself feel like you already have what you want from the “what I want” section.

As always, download and save this Monday Mantra Image to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, please share it.

Monday Mantra:: I Choose New Experiences

Monday Mantra Choose New Experiences

It seems too simple doesn’t it? Change the way you walk to work, change-up your morning routine, run on a new path in order to shift the energy in your life.

When we do the same thing, with the same people, at the same time, on the same day, we become secure in the everyday. And then, after some time, it creeps in. The thought of change becomes scary. Eventually even buttering our toast differently feels wrong and throws out our day.

There are benefits of habits. Discipline is great for achieving goals. But even discipline has room for movement, room for improvement. if we don’t change things up, things get stagnant. We feel stuck in a rut. We hit a plateau with our weight loss, with our training, with our career, sometimes even with life in general.

Now, I’m not talking about radically changing your life or routine. All it takes is small, subtle shifts in everyday things to change your energy and open it up to new opportunities for growth and expansion.

I am the first to admit that I am a creature of habit. I often have to remind myself to walk a different way to work, or change my nutrition (it’s easy to have the same thing for breakfast day in, day out) and sometimes, it takes someone else to say to me “hey, why don’t try that other park for your training run today?” to get me to shift out of my comfort zone. That change in running location meant that I was less focussed on the tired legs and puffing lungs and more into the experience of new surroundings. It was me out of my comfort zone in a whole other way to my fitness comfort zone. It was a beautiful and as a result, I ran faster and further than my previous attempt.

This weekend, I was teaching and normally I would jump in the car and drive across. Because my beloved had the car over the weekend, I needed to catch public transport to the college. It felt like a chore initially but I realised that it gave me some nice “relax time” in the morning, without having to concentrate on anything in particular. I even did a meditation on the train! I arrived at the college relaxed and ready to get into the day ahead. And while I was exhausted at the end of the day, I was still alert when normally I’d feel quite “peopled out” and be ready for some quiet me time.

What’s one small shift you can make today to change the energy of your day?

Here are some simple ideas to get you started:

  • Stir your tea or coffee in the opposite direction
  • Eat your toast from the bottom of the slice up instead of top down
  • Have a shower before breakfast instead of after (or vice versa)
  • Instead of getting a coffee on your way into the office, wait and go grab your coffee at 10am instead.
  • Instead of eating your lunch in the tea room at work, go for a walk and sit in a park.

Write out your routine and choose one thing you can alter to give you a subtle shift in energy.

Then when you’re feeling more brave;

  • Get a bold new hair cut
  • Buy a shirt, scarf or skirt in a colour or style you would not normally buy
  • Wear a different shade of lipstick you wouldn’t normally wear
  • Buy a new cushion for the couch at home (buy one you’d normally not buy, something different to your normal, safe, comfort zone style).

Some of these may seem very simple, yes. But remember that the smallest changes can get you out of your comfort zone little by little and then when opportunities arise where you’d normally turn them down, you’ll already have exercised your “new experiences” muscle and it will feel less scary to accept the invitation.

Lather, rinse, repeat: I choose new experiences.

As always, download and save this Monday Mantra Image to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, please share it.

When There’s Nothing You Can Do To Help

Angels intercede Dana Atkin Kinesiology

I often have clients come in with this exact issue. They come in and they’re in a situation where they can’t help, or have no choice in the circumstances, or it’s out of their control.

Some things in life are inevitable. Some people just want to run their own course and won’t hear anything anyone has to say. Some people will only ever take the advice of one trusted source and are deaf to any other ideas.

It can be hard to watch someone go through life changing processes and situations especially when they’re not open to hearing new ways of dealing
with the issues at hand or are adamant that they don’t need help. Beyond being an open heart and ear to listen as they need it, what else can you do to help?

Here’s what I do. I ask the angels to talk to them, to give them guidance and clear signs to the right path that will help through the space they’re in so that they can come out the other side in the best way and shape possible for their highest good.

This works because you feel like you’re helping and you get to do this anonymously without putting your open talks at risk. You get to still be there to listen as a non-judgemental ally, not someone who is telling them how they should be doing things which people get plenty of already. You know that however they choose to get through this phase, it is in their highest good, because that’s what you’ve asked for (sometimes, people need to take the toughest road through these situations because there’s a golden lesson in it for them that will be truly life changing in a positive way).

So next time you feel like there’s nothing you can do to help, ask the angels to intercede on your behalf and allow them to weave their magic.

Monday Mantra:: I Pay Attention to All My Senses

Monday Mantra Attention to my senses

Sight, Taste, Touch, Sound, Smell. We use them daily. But how often do you actually pay attention to all of them?

I recently took on some focus on these senses and was amazed at some of the things in daily life I tuned out. I think sound was the most profound one of all of the senses for me. I realised that I was probably only paying attention to maybe 60% of the sounds I could hear in any one day.

The thing here is that we do actually need to tune these out in order to focus on specific tasks. But sometimes, these senses can be our best ally. If we’re able to take moments throughout our day and tune in to all of these things, we’re better equipped to really understand what’s going on around us, to really be appreciative of what we have and to really savour moments in all dimensions of our our senses.

Today, every time you stop to have a coffee or a cup of tea, pause.

Listen to the kettle boiling or the steam wand whooshing.
Listen to the clink of the tea spoon as you stir in sugar or milk.
Look at it. The colour, the smoothness of the texture, or the bubbly texture of a cappuccino.
Smell the tea or coffee. Breathe it in.
When you take a sip, taste it. Really taste it.
Then, expand that further between sips.
What taste lingers?
What else can you hear around you?
What else can you see?
What else can you smell?
Return to your cuppa and begin again.

This exercise allows you to focus on a specific sense around a specific topic and then it allows you to open that up and take everything in then brings the focus back to one topic again.

As always, download and save this Monday Mantra Image to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, please share it.