This can be a bit of tricky one. It’s a fine balance between focusing on what isn’t there and focussing on what you want to be there.
I hear it all the time. Here are some examples:
- I want a relationship and I’ve been focussing on a relationship (so why I am I still single?)
- I want a new, fun job and I’ve been focussing on that but nothing has come yet (and until then I’m stuck in a job I don’t love)
- I want to lose 5kg and I’ve been focussing on the dress I want to fit into (and every time I get on those scales, and nothing has changed).
The trick is to find what you want in the future in your current situation. For example:
Invest in a relationship with yourself. Take yourself out on a date. Go out to dinner, take yourself to the movies. But go on your own because you’re developing a relationship with yourself. You could take a journal with you and ask yourself some good “get to know you” questions and write your responses. Get to know YOU.
When you go to work each day, focus on what you actually like about the job, the people, the business. Focus on what that part feels like and let that be your anchor towards what you want.
When you get on the scales after a week of exercise and good food, say to yourself, “This is feedback on how my body feels right now, in this moment of time and I can help it to feel even better”. The idea is that instead of reinforcing the thought and feeling of “Urgh, I haven’t lost any weight”, you’re reinforcing that the body will feel better and that this is only a snapshot of what it feels like now. Then when you notice a reduction in weight, say to yourself on the scales, “Great, the body is feeling better and I can help it to feel even better again.”
If your example is not above, on apiece of paper, write out what you want on the left hand side and then on the right hand side, write the rest of the sentence but….
Eg. I want more money but I keep getting more bills.
Then, work out what the positive outlook is on the “But” section and then, work out how you can make yourself feel like you already have what you want from the “what I want” section.
As always, download and save this Monday Mantra Image to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, please share it.