The Cycle of Change: Anger

The Cycle of Change Anger Kinesiology Dana Atkin

The Cycle of Change: Anger

Following on from last months cycle of change article about denial, the next stage of change and grief is anger. Now remember that these stages don’t just relate to grief in the traditional sense. You can grieve an old way of being because change can be scary and to let a part of ourselves go (a habit, a look, a space) can cause us to go through the grief cycle.

Anger is the space where we get angry at the people around us, at the inanimate objects around us (printers, kitchen cupboards that squeak, chairs etc). Sometimes though, what we’re really angry at is not the other person or the object. Sometimes, we’re angry at ourselves. And it depends on what cycle of change we’re going through as to why we are angry at ourselves.

Take weight loss for example, sometimes people can be angry at themselves for letting themselves get to that point, in the case of changing career, we can get angry at ourselves for not following our heart sooner.

Anger is an emotion that is what we like to call the presenting emotion. It’s not necessarily the actual emotion in that it is often a culmination of other emotions that haven’t quite been dealt with yet. Because it’s often a pent-up emotion, it tends to “explode” and we feel like it comes out of nowhere.

Anger can be taxing on the body, mind and spirit. It’s a heavy thing to carry around with us and it causes the body physical stress too because of all the stress hormones circulating in response to our constant state of stress.

Consider how you tend to respond to stress.

  1. Do you typically run and hide? Or
  2. Do you tend to go into fighting mode? Or
  3. Do you freeze, much like a deer in headlights?

Based on your answer to the above, that is also your answer to how to diffuse your anger.

If you tend to go into flight mode, get walking or running to work it out of your legs. If you tend to go into fight mode, then take up a boxing class to get the pent-up energy out of your arms. If you’re freeze person, try meditation to calm to centre you.

If you tend to go into a little of each then try a little of each of the above techniques. It’s all about getting the energy to shift out of the body in a way that is comfortable for you and your body’s natural stress response.

Once the anger clears, then you’ll feel much calmer and clearer to deal with the next phase of letting go.

Stay tuned for next Month’s article in the Cycle of Change Series about Bargaining & Depression.

Sleep Well

3000MelbMag Sleep Well Dana Atkin April 2014

Frustrating isn’t it? When you can’t sleep. You’ve had a big day, you’re tired and you can’t wait to get to bed. You snuggle in at 9:30pm; take a few deep breaths and think “Ahhh…yes. Sleep time.” That is until you roll over (for what feels like the one hundredth time) and check the clock. 1:00am – eek!

Research says that getting adequate sleep is good for you for a number of reasons. Some of these reasons are:

  1. Your nervous system: It improves concentration, mood and memory
  2. Your Immune System: When your immune system is well rested, it can defend your body easier and more effectively
  3. Your Cardio Vascular System: Getting adequate sleep may help to reduce heart rate variability and
  4. It’s good for over all body rest & rejuvenation

So, as you can tell from this simple overview, Sleep is pretty important for your health and wellbeing. Here are my top five sleep well (or get back to sleep) tips:

  1. Routine
    Creating a routine around bedtime for yourself teaches your body when you’re nearing sleep time. The best way to do this is to think about children and the way we teach them with a routine that it’s almost bedtime. Find a series of things to do that works for you as a bedtime routine and stick with it.
  2. Deep Breathing
    This one is obvious and we hear it all the time. That’s because it works. Try taking a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. Do this a number of times to calm your nervous system.
  3. Aromatherapy
    Lavender is a lovely essential oil to use for this exact purpose. Be careful with this one though because too much lavender can actually have the opposite effect. Remember: a little to calm, a lot toenergise.Here’s where I get most of my essences and essential oils from: http://www.spiritoflightessences.com
  4. Meditation
    This one is important because often the reason we are unable to get back to sleep is that we have all these thoughts running through our mind. Meditation can help us to control our thoughts rather than letting them run away with us and the right ones can also teach us to simply let those thoughts come and go rather than lingering in the first place.try this one: getsomeheadspace.com
  5. No Electricals
    Yep. That’s no phone, no T.V. and no computer games in the bedroom. This feeds into the routine factor. If your body is used to watching TV in bed, then you cannot expect that it will want to sleep there if you’ve spent all evening teaching it that it’s actually for being wide awake not sleeping.If you must have your phone in the bedroom at night (many people use it as an alarm clock) then put it on to airplane mode to stop the electrical signals from interfering with the electrical signals going on in your body.

The long-term effects of a lack of sleep can have dramatic effects on the body so if you’re not sleeping as well as you would like to be, then give one of the above tips a try – your body will thank you for it.

Affirmations: What are they and how do they work?

Affirmations: what are they and why do they work?

Affirmations are by no means a new thing. Affirmations in some form or other have been around for centuries in the form of Affirmations, Mantras and Goals.

There can sometimes be a little confusion around the difference between these three elements.

Affirmations are defined as “a declaration that something is true” Using an affirmation is a way of telling your body “this is already a fact” and using it repeatedly can begin to shift your beliefs in agreement with the affirmation – a way of affirming to yourself and the world a new pattern of thought.

Mantra’s are defined as “a sacred word or formula repeated as an incantation”. That said, a mantra can be more than one word. Something you repeat to yourself as a reminder to yourself of who you are, what you want to be or how you want to feel.

Goals are defined as “the result or achievement toward which effort is directed”. Goals are a great way to get you to take action towards achieving your affirmation or mantra.

These three methods are all a way of creating change in your life on both the conscious and subconscious levels. So why do these work so well?

Your body and mind take your words as gospel. They do not understand what a turn of phrase is, what lyrics are or what sarcasm is. Your body can take on what you say very literally. This is partly why affirmations, mantras and goals, when repeated often are so effective.

Many highly successful people swear by looking at and speaking their goal, mantra or affirmation many times per day and accredit this technique to their success.

So, find an affirmation, mantra or goal that you like. Write in on a post-it note (or five) and place them in strategic places around the house or your office. When you see it, say it. I also make myself an electronic version of it (take a photo of your post-it note for example) and set it as your desktop image or screen saver for your phone – see the Monday Mantra segment for some prearranged iPhone mantras you can download. Again, when you see it, say it to yourself. The more often you repeat it, the more likely it is to reprogram your way of thinking and naturally draw you closer to achieving your desired outcome.

Here’s three of my (current) favourite ones you might like to try:

  1. I deserve success
  2. I am passionate, healthy and energetic
  3. I am a money magnet

Find an affirmation that resonates with you and that reflects a change that you’re trying to create in your life. Make it visible and repeat often. If you’re still not getting results, there may be some hidden belief patterns that aren’t congruent with your affirmation. If this is the case, it’s great to seek help in identifying what that in-congruency might be, As soon as that block is released – you’re likely to see results very quickly.

Dana Atkin Kinesiology Affirmations 3000Melbourne Magazine