The Cycle of Change: Denial
Change can be difficult for many people. Even our biology, our body is hardwired for survival. And because we’ve survived up until now with things exactly the way they have always been, then why should we change anything, right?
There is a process that we all go through with every change. We tend to resist it because of our built in survival mechanism. We fight it because we worry that if we change one thing, then maybe other things will change, leaving us powerless.
Sometimes change is thrust upon us and sometimes we choose to change wether consciously or subconsciously. Every change, regardless of how it comes about goes through a series of common steps. Including Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance and Letting Go. In this month’s article, I’m going to talk about the first step, Denial.
Often, the denial step is missed because it usually comes before the desire to change has been realised. We deny there is any problem with the current situation (be it weight, work. home or health etc) and we continue with things the way they are, often looking for other, not so healthy ways to satisfy the unfulfilled circumstance.
Our inability to recognise that something needs to change is frustrating to not only ourselves but also for those who love us. Then, when those we love speak up about the issue at hand, we get defensive because it’s true and we’re not ready to face it, or change it.
Consider this. Where in life have you been feeling defensive lately? Could your defensive approach to the situation be because on some level, there’s an element of truth to what the other person is saying? Is it something you’re willing to work through now? If not, write it down somewhere so that when the time comes, you have a beginning point.
Stay tuned for the next stage in the cycle of change, Anger.