The Chameleon Effect

chameleon-unknown

A chameleon is recognised for it’s unique ability to blend into its surroundings. It is a natural survival skill of the creature. As human beings, we see this quality as a benefit. The ability to adapt to any environment and blend in can be useful in many situations but does it do more harm than good?

I personally have been a chameleon for most of my life, ever since I can remember I have blended into the crowd, taking on their qualities. A fun crowd? I’m a fun person. A quiet, subdued crowd? I’m a subdued person.

It was only recently that I discovered that what I thought was a great tool; a unique skill to have was in fact holding me back. It was keeping me invisible and It was helping me to play small. It was a disguise for fear.

If a chameleon changes it’s self to blend in for survival, then what am I trying to survive? What is the benefit of blending in? As it turns out, for me, this was about not being judged for being my true self. I had a limiting belief in my subconscious form early childhood that was on repeat in my mind when it came to crowds which said, “I can’t be myself and be accepted”. Whoa! So instead of being my authentic self, I would become someone else entirely just to be accepted. I was trying to survive judgment and non-acceptance.

As a Kinesiologist, I have had many sessions around the issue of judgment and I am always helping people to understand that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about you. What they think about you is their own “stuff” coming out of them. It has nothing to do with you. So it was nice to understand what this feels like at a really deep level that actually spanned essentially my entire life!

Two points here:

We are all human. Even your practitioners are human – they have sore muscles, nutrition imbalances, out worn belief patterns to work through. No one is immune to upgrade.

Being our authentic self makes us more powerful within ourselves. It means we can work towards honoring our self, honoring what we desire, what we feel, what we value. And in doing so, we can let go of the “chameleon effect” because when we honor our authentic self, there’s no need to disguise because the power that comes from authenticity is second to none.

Ask yourself, where am I being a chameleon? What am I trying to survive in that space / situation? How can I be more myself and feel safe next time?

Find little ways to be more you. Add make up, add a piece of jewellery that says “this is who I am”, keep a crystal in your pocket as a reminder to be more open about who you really are. Little steps will add up and before you know it, you’ll have dropped that disguise and the chameleon effect.

Why you need to trust your instincts when looking for a health practitioner

I’ve come across a few lovely clients who have quite literally been put through the ringer by some people who have posed themselves as the be all and end all in the health and wellness world. Being confident in your profession is one thing, but arrogance and disregard for the health and wellbeing of others who put their trust in you is quite another. It’s incredibly frustrating that there are practitioners out there that call themselves “healers” but put clients in a holding pattern of fear (which by the way is often an emotional precursor to all the reasons that people go to see practitioners for in the first place). These clients are now at a point that they don’t know who to trust anymore. They’ve even gone against their own instincts so they’re not sure they can even trust themselves.

A practitioner who claims to be the “be all and end all” in their profession is troublesome for a number of reasons.

Firstly, there is no singular remedy, modality or practitioner who can be the answer to all of your concerns and in fact, it very often takes a complimentary, team approach. What works for me, may not work for you. We are indeed all individuals and what makes us unique also means that we each require a unique remedy. (I personally have a Remedial Massage Therapist, a Kinesiologist and a Chiropractor as my basic life/health care team. I then add and remove as required in order to be in the best possible shape for myself and my clients. This includes Doctors, Dentists, Acupuncturists etc – there is a place for each of these for me).

Secondly, if we presume to be the only person who can help someone, then we inadvertently hurt them by possibly holding them back from another practitioner who may have the last piece, or indeed the right piece of the puzzle for them. It is irresponsible. We are all human and we are all susceptible to life’s stresses so we cannot ever proclaim to be the master of any one way of being other than being human. That said, if we are not willing to do the work we set for our clients, then we are certainly in no position to ask them to do what we ask. Walking the walk, not just talking the talk. (I personally see a kinesiologist once per month, every month to work on my ‘stuff’).

This point also cultivates fear in the client as well as the practitioner. It is unfair to inflict fear upon anyone who is seeking assistance from us. It sets the client back, the client and the practitioner both begin to act out of fear. What we infuse often breeds somewhere within us. It is far better that a client receives the results they’re looking for and experience beyond their expectations – that, my fellow practitioners is how you create word of mouth. There is only an abundance of people you can assist so why only help one or two when you could help so many more? A client should never be only “yours”.

As a client, if you feel uneasy, unsure or if something just doesn’t feel right about the practitioner, the modality or the results you are getting (or not getting) you have every right to:

1. Ask your practitioner about any concerns you have around the results.
2. Walk away at any given point (note: some practitioners, such as kinesiologists, will only allow you leave mid-session if you are in a safe, healthy, calm state of mind to do so, it is our duty of care)
3. Not continue with your initial session if, once you’ve had the process explained to you, you’ve changed your mind.
4. To ask questions throughout all sessions if you don’t understand what is being said to you. (note: all good practitioners will only be too happy to explain things to you – we love sharing our passion)

This goes for practitioners and clients alike. Above all, trust your instincts and your own opinions. Never let someone else’s opinion overshadow your own. You know your body better than anyone else, your body knows what it needs to heal it’s self and it will either give you clear signs to steer away or it will give you clear signs that you’re on the right path. Trust your instincts, listen to you.

Monday Mantra:: I Can Choose to Let Go

Monday-Mantra-I choose to let go

Over the last week, we have been cleaning out our spare room.  As I was trudging through all the old sentimental stuff and all the not so sentimental stuff, I wondered – why do we hold on to so much stuff?

We keep things because we get used to having it around – It makes us feel comfortable.

We keep things because they remind us of someone – it makes us feel reminiscent or young.

We keep things because someone we love gave it to us – it makes us feel loved, appreciated, beautiful.

We keep things because it might come in handy one day – it makes us feel hopeful or inspired or safe.

We keep things because they might fit us again, some day – they make us feel excited about the future.

 

But these things, while they sit in a cupboard or under the stairs in the dark, only ever come out to the light when we go through a spring clean. They hold us back and they weigh us down, sometimes without us even knowing it. And often, that stuff is only hiding more stuff underneath it!

When we need space, we go through a spring clean. We bring out all those old things and throw out a few here and there. Then we hide all that stuff again until we need more space and so the process of bringing those objects out to the light for sorting begins yet again.

The same goes for our emotional wellbeing. We often hide our “stuff” at the back of the mind (sometimes so far back that it’s actually in the subconscious) and it’s only when we find ourselves overwhelmed, in pain or in crisis that we seek out those things in order to spring clean our thoughts and emotions for clarity of mind and when we do, we feel lighter, happier, more relaxed and sometimes more free. Life runs a little more smoothly. This is because our body is no longer holding onto it, it no longer needs to carry the weight of the past.

We can, however, forget that we have a choice in letting things go. It’s human nature to hold on to events, people or situations that no longer do us any good to hold on to for fear of being alone, out of work or unloved, just to name a few. That’s not to say that these fears or concerns aren’t legitimate and in fact, there are many instances when you need to ensure that items like an income for instance are catered for – they do require some thought.

Letting go of old clothes is one thing, but letting go of bigger things will likely take a few rounds of bringing them out of storage for sifting through, so please be patient with yourself. It took me three years to finally get up the courage to leave my secure, long-term employment to chase my dream of becoming a Kinesiologist. It was a classic case of Lather, Rinse, Repeat: I can choose to let go.

What can you start letting go of today?

Outworn clothes
Past Hurts
Old Flames
Fears
Limiting Beliefs

Lather, Rinse, Repeat: I can choose to let go.

As always, download and save the mantra to your phone home screen, your desktop or print it and pin it up somewhere. When you see it, say it and if you think someone you know might benefit from this mantra, share it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Mantra:: I Am Brave Enough

How brave are you?

Sometimes, one of the bravest things we can do is to look at what’s really holding us back.

Her are some questions to get you thinking about what might be holding you back from achieving your goals:

  1. If you already had what you’re aiming for, if you already achieved that goal you set, what happens next?
  2. What’s the worst thing about achieving that goal?
  3. What are all the consequences that might happen as a result of achieving your goal?
  4. What is the scariest thing about aiming for your goal?
  5. What is the scariest thing about achieving your goal?
  6. What are all the “What if’s” around this goal?
    (for example: What if I fail, What if I don’t achieve the results I’m looking for?, what if people think I’m crazy for even trying? What if my partner gives me an ultimatum – “me or your dream”? etc.)

Once you think you’ve come to the end of the list, go back and ask yourself these questions again. There’s always more there than in the first round of questioning.

These all take courage to look at. But once you know what all these what if’s are, what all the results may or may not be, it gives you the opportunity to look at them and to work through each of them. Knowing exactly what thought patterns you are dealing with is key to change.

The same works for business. Look at the patterns of behaviour that are holding the team or business back from achieving their goals. You might be very surprised to find a collective fear in there some where.

You’re brave enough to look at what’s holding you back, then be brave enough to go after your goals anyway!

Remember – download and save to your phone home screen. Every time you unlock your screen, repeat the mantra to yourself. I Am Brave Enough!

Be brave enough to look at what's really holding you back.

Be brave enough to look at what’s really holding you back.