When you read emails day in day out at work, it can become easy to begin to see these as human interactions. We make them more emotional, even reading them in our own mind in the tone of voice we perceive that person to have written the email.
When you write an email, do you write it with emotion? How do you feel when you write it? When you read it back do you read it in the tone you wrote it?
When you receive an email, do you read it with emotion? Do you read it with your emotion or with the senders emotion?
Here’s the thing. When people write to you, they express their opinions. From their perspective. With their history and experience as their filter.
When you read those emails, you read them from your perspective, with your history and experience as the filter.
Perceptions have the ability to make or break our day.
The trick is to step aside and remind yourself that when people are expressing themselves (their despair, their frustration, their elation) they are doing so from their perspective, in their opinion and in no way is that ever a personal attack or rubbing it in. People are entitled to feel the way they feel. If you can do this, CAPITALS become just letters. Exclamation Marks !!!! become enthusiasm. And bold type becomes a pointer to say “hey, just letting you know that this is important to me.”
How can I improve this situation? How can I afford to go to that event? How can get to where I want to go?
It seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it? Ask yourself, how?. But I find this one challenging at the moment. Instead of asking myself this simple question, I get worked up over the most insignificant things. Instead of getting annoyed at a messy house, I could ask myself why the kitchen table is the dumping ground for shopping, books, keys etc. Instead of getting frustrated at the perceived lack of freedom I feel in my own home, I could ask myself “How can I feel more free in my own home?”. It’s a simple shift and while it doesn’t immediately solve the issue at hand, it does open the mind to the fact that there are possible ways of getting around certain situations.
Here’s my current form of processing: Instead of saying something about a situation that annoys me, I’ll mull over it, and let it fester until breaking point (because surely everyone is psychic and should know what’s wrong, right?!). For someone who considers themselves quite well equipped in the communication department, It would appear that this expertise hasn’t quite made it to my own realm yet.
So, given that the universe has aligned some amazing opportunities to learn more about communicating along these lines by way of some in house training at one of my work locations, I plan on investing a lot of interest in the content so I can reap the benefits moving forward. And I certainly plan on asking myself how I can apply the knowledge (both present and future) in my personal life as well as my professional life.
Where could you ask yourself “How…?”
As always, download and save to your desktop or phone or print it and pin it somewhere you’ll see it. When you see it, say it. And if you know someone who would also benefit from this mantra, share it.