Monday Mantra:: I enjoy the space between

Enjoy the space between DanaAtkin.com

Where are you now? Where do you want to be? What’s stopping you from enjoying the space between the two places?

It’s easy to get lost in the striving, in the working, in the doing. When you have a goal or life situation in mind and you’re spending all your time focussing on it, it can easily become the be all and end all of your life. It can lead you into frustration because you want to be there. Now.  And each time you’re reminded that you aren’t there yet, you fall into the “I’m a failure” mind set a little further.

Someone asked me a question recently which became a catalyst for change. The questions was “What do you love to do?”. I said, run, paint, write and I had to stop the conversation there because it dawned on me that I had not done anything of what I love for quite some time now because I had been all consumed with another goal. And each time I was reminded that I hadn’t achieved that goal yet, I would let go of something I loved to put more focus on this thing that I was working towards which would actually make me feel worse, not better.

Here’s the lucky penny that dropped. If I stopped focussing on where I want to be and put a little more focus on what I love doing, more focus on right here and now, then when I’m confronted about my major goal, instead of feeling like a failure, I could lean on the things that bring me joy so as not to fall down the rabbit hole of self doubt.

I’ve chosen instead to enjoy the space between where I am and where I want to be.

 

Making Space

doorways

When you want something, when you’re calling it in, and doing all the “right things” and that something is not coming your way, perhaps it’s because there’s not enough room for it to be in your realm.

Making space could mean finding space physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, energetically etc. There’s more than one way to make space for something new. A little creativity goes a long way and once you find just the right spot where you can make space, the universe is able to fill it with that new something you’re looking for.

As per the old adage, as one door closes, another opens, sometimes, letting go of one thing actually means inviting something else in.

 

Unlimited Belief

Let nothing hold you back from reaching your true potential

If you watch nature, you’ll find it doesn’t believe in limits. plants grow in cracks in the footpath, trees grow around power lines and through perceived limits.

It’s easy to see a cage as a cage and assume that there is no way out of it. That cage is only ever self imposed if you view it as a cage with no door nor key. If there was a way in, then there is a way out.

Beyond looking at it as something to be conquered, perhaps we need to look at things from another perspective. Is it really a limit? or is it guideline? Is it an absolute? or is it a advisory sign? Is it a boundary or is it an opportunity for an adventure obstacle course?

Don’t let anything hold you back or stop you for aiming, for trying, for growing toward your goals, your dreams or your potential.

 

Lessons from Mother Nature

Inherent Nature of All Things Dana Atkin

It’s interesting how a plant can be viewed by a dozen people and be seen differently by each and every one. Yet, regardless of how we look at it, it’s own inherent nature still resides there. It remains unchanged. It is not swayed by our perceptions of it. It is not changed by the filters we apply to the images we take of it. It doesn’t change it’s self in order become more for us. It is what it is and it is content with it.

We could learn a lot from mother nature. It’s so easy to get caught up in what other people think of us. It’s easy to believe that we should be, ought to be or could be rather than believing in who we are, as we are, right here and now.

It’s easier to believe what people think we should be, ought to be or could be rather than believing in who we are, as we are, right here and now.

We would save ourselves so much inner turmoil if we were to remain still and centred like nature does and simply do what we do best, grow. Naturally.

Eckhart Tolle, in his book Stillness Speaks, refers of the inherent stillness in nature and it’s ability to remain solid and still in the midst of external forces. Nature does not fight against the circumstances it finds it’s self in, it thrives by remaining true to it’s self and by finding new ways. It grows in cracks of pathways, it grows around and over buildings and bridges and rocks and even grows in the mud.

If we say to the plant “you’re not capable of growing there”, does the plant believe this and cease to grow? No. It grows anyway.

Thank You & You’re Welcome

They’re small phrases that sit front of mind for me often these days.

You see, I’ve been doing some work in customer service recently and I’ve become aware that there is a large number of people out there who think that if they thrown a tantrum, make threats to leave or not recommend someone that they’ll get what they want. They’ll be pandered to and be showered with gifts for their efforts. But why should we reward this behaviour?

I’ve seen the opposite side too. The people whose experiences were beyond comprehension and yet they remain calm and measured and understand that sometimes, these things happen. They don’t expect anything in return and they are grateful for the assistance we can provide.

I’ve seen how customer service representatives on the front line, in-person and over the phone do all that they can to help, only to be met with attitudes of expectation and “You owe me” language.

What we forget sometimes, if we’re having a bad day, or we’re just grumpy that they may well be genuinely trying to help. They may be adhering as best they can to the policies they are meant to stick to while bending over backwards trying to get the best outcome and we lash out. How does that help anyone? If we lash out, we get angry and fuel our own anger which doesn’t make us feel better, it makes us feel worse.

The same goes the other way around too.

I’m not saying you should just accept poor service, not at all. But be clear about what is reasonable and what is not. Be clear when it’s really the company’s fault or their their third party’s fault. Be clear that it may not be the fault of the person in front of you, on the line or in chat – they did not necessarily personally cause the issues you experienced so why hold them personally responsible?

Expressing your frustration need not be an excuse to treat someone badly or to not acknowledge their assistance in any way, shape or form. In fact, it can be easy to express it with dignity for both yourself and the person assisting you.

The point is to remember that we’re all human. So simple manners like please, thank you and you’re welcome should be staples in our vocabulary. We definitely should not be rewarding inappropriate behaviour from fellow humans. We should be treating one another with respect and we should be using our manners. And our reward for that should be our own sense that we have done good in the world by treating people as human beings.

Here’s a simple rule: If you want good service, use good manners.

 

 

 

Perception & The Written Word

When you read emails day in day out at work, it can become easy to begin to see these as human interactions. We make them more emotional, even reading them in our own mind in the tone of voice we perceive that person to have written the email.

When you write an email, do you write it with emotion? How do you feel when you write it? When you read it back do you read it in the tone you wrote it?

When you receive an email, do you read it with emotion? Do you read it with your emotion or with the senders emotion?

Here’s the thing. When people write to you, they express their opinions. From their perspective. With their history and experience as their filter.

When you read those emails, you read them from your perspective, with your history and experience as the filter.

Perceptions have the ability to make or break our day.

The trick is to step aside and remind yourself that when people are expressing themselves (their despair, their frustration, their elation) they are doing so from their perspective, in their opinion and in no way is that ever a personal attack or rubbing it in. People are entitled to feel the way they feel.  If you can do this, CAPITALS become just letters. Exclamation Marks !!!! become enthusiasm. And bold type becomes a pointer to say “hey, just letting you know that this is important to me.”

 

in the absence of labels, just be.

It’s funny how we feel the need to define things. To give them labels and names and ideas based on our perceptions and influences.

But what if we were to not define things, but simply let them be as they are, not what they are?

What if we were no longer labelled as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter or father or son? What if we were no longer known as a lawyer or gardener or runner or artist? How would you define yourself? Would you define yourself?

I’ve written about the mantra “I Am.”  a couple of times before You can find them here and here.)

I found myself pondering what to write, and I typed a few titles to begin with but nothing really felt right and none of them really felt like they went with the content of what I was about to type and in not knowing what to call this entry, I found my entry in it’s self.

As soon as I give an article a title, I feel constrained by it. My article needs to stick with that title, it needs to reflect that title and it should ultimately be all about that title. But notice how this also applies to each title or label we give the people in our lives (ourselves included) and notice how each of them has a set of “expectations” of behaviour, or qualities required in order to live up to that label.

Be careful when you define yourself or others by a label or a title. Be sure that you’ve allowed yourself the freedom to also sway from the pre-determined expectations of that title if you choose it. Also, give others the same freedom to sway from their own titles and labels because they too have set themselves the task of conforming to a pre-determined set of expectations that may not fit with who they really are.

When you find yourself all caught up in the labels and expectations, refer back to the mantra “I am.” Full stop. End of sentence. You are. And that, is more than enough.

 

 

 

The Unplug Initiative

Plug back in to you Dana Atkin Kinesiology

I’ve decided that now is the time to unplug.

While the universe has certainly given me some unplugging it’s self (jobs, places and people), I think – no – I FEEL like it’s time for some unplugging initiative.

I’m going to begin with a Facebook Fast. This by far is my biggest rival for my attention. I tend to use it when I know I should be concentrating on myself. I look to others lives, to more ads about more external influences about how to better myself and my business and I look for the sake of looking when really I need to look within and cultivate my own energy.

When I plug into everything else outside of me, I leave no energy or attention for me or my spirit and wonder why I feel so low.

So, I’ll begin with seven days away from my number one distractor. I shall take on a Facebook Fast for seven days to see how well I can plug back into my own being, into my own life and to feel what changes take place within.

What do you need a detox from? What would plugging back into you and your real life look like? How would it change you?

Want more information about unplugging? Try calling your energy back.

Little Sparkle, Big Shine

Inner Sparkle Outer Shine Dana Atkin Kinesiology low res Did you know that when we find that something that lights us up, our whole world shifts? When we have that sparkle, it makes everything else sparkle too. Our work life feels a little brighter, our family life feels brighter, we feel brighter and life feels filled with opportunity. And if we pursue the sparkle, we radiate that light and eventually it has the ability to light up others and by lighting up others, we light up the world, one person at a time. Life can get busy and when life gets busy we forget to do the things we love or we forget that what we love is as important if not more important than the day-to-day tasks we get ourselves caught up in. When we lose touch with those things we find that life feels heavy, we get stressed, we feel down and the longer we leave those things that light us up on the side line, the harder it can be to pull them back into our lives. What brings you joy? What do you love to do? What lights you up? Do you have something that reminds you of that? A picture, a talisman, a colour? Find something that represents your sparkle and keep it close or somewhere you can see it as a reminder. When things feel like they’re beginning to get heavy, grab hold of it, look at it, wear it as a reminder so that your sparkle is never too far away. It will make it easier to call it back when you’re ready. What makes you sparkle?

Why you need to trust your instincts when looking for a health practitioner

I’ve come across a few lovely clients who have quite literally been put through the ringer by some people who have posed themselves as the be all and end all in the health and wellness world. Being confident in your profession is one thing, but arrogance and disregard for the health and wellbeing of others who put their trust in you is quite another. It’s incredibly frustrating that there are practitioners out there that call themselves “healers” but put clients in a holding pattern of fear (which by the way is often an emotional precursor to all the reasons that people go to see practitioners for in the first place). These clients are now at a point that they don’t know who to trust anymore. They’ve even gone against their own instincts so they’re not sure they can even trust themselves.

A practitioner who claims to be the “be all and end all” in their profession is troublesome for a number of reasons.

Firstly, there is no singular remedy, modality or practitioner who can be the answer to all of your concerns and in fact, it very often takes a complimentary, team approach. What works for me, may not work for you. We are indeed all individuals and what makes us unique also means that we each require a unique remedy. (I personally have a Remedial Massage Therapist, a Kinesiologist and a Chiropractor as my basic life/health care team. I then add and remove as required in order to be in the best possible shape for myself and my clients. This includes Doctors, Dentists, Acupuncturists etc – there is a place for each of these for me).

Secondly, if we presume to be the only person who can help someone, then we inadvertently hurt them by possibly holding them back from another practitioner who may have the last piece, or indeed the right piece of the puzzle for them. It is irresponsible. We are all human and we are all susceptible to life’s stresses so we cannot ever proclaim to be the master of any one way of being other than being human. That said, if we are not willing to do the work we set for our clients, then we are certainly in no position to ask them to do what we ask. Walking the walk, not just talking the talk. (I personally see a kinesiologist once per month, every month to work on my ‘stuff’).

This point also cultivates fear in the client as well as the practitioner. It is unfair to inflict fear upon anyone who is seeking assistance from us. It sets the client back, the client and the practitioner both begin to act out of fear. What we infuse often breeds somewhere within us. It is far better that a client receives the results they’re looking for and experience beyond their expectations – that, my fellow practitioners is how you create word of mouth. There is only an abundance of people you can assist so why only help one or two when you could help so many more? A client should never be only “yours”.

As a client, if you feel uneasy, unsure or if something just doesn’t feel right about the practitioner, the modality or the results you are getting (or not getting) you have every right to:

1. Ask your practitioner about any concerns you have around the results.
2. Walk away at any given point (note: some practitioners, such as kinesiologists, will only allow you leave mid-session if you are in a safe, healthy, calm state of mind to do so, it is our duty of care)
3. Not continue with your initial session if, once you’ve had the process explained to you, you’ve changed your mind.
4. To ask questions throughout all sessions if you don’t understand what is being said to you. (note: all good practitioners will only be too happy to explain things to you – we love sharing our passion)

This goes for practitioners and clients alike. Above all, trust your instincts and your own opinions. Never let someone else’s opinion overshadow your own. You know your body better than anyone else, your body knows what it needs to heal it’s self and it will either give you clear signs to steer away or it will give you clear signs that you’re on the right path. Trust your instincts, listen to you.